“The vitality found in boys remains the same today as it always has,” says Dr Tim Hawkes, headmaster of Australia’s oldest independent school, The King’s School in Parramatta, “however, in an age of political correctness, society’s tolerance of their energy may have changed resulting in a pathologizing of boys.”

Reflecting on the lessons learned over 40 years as an educator, Dr Hawkes notes that longer working hours, reconstituted families and greater stress on parents, have made raising a family harder than ever.

“More and more parents are time-poor and many spend too little time interacting with their children.

“Some research suggests that the average amount of meaningful interaction between fathers and sons is just a few minutes a day.

“We’re in grave danger of seeing a generation of kids raised by the internet,” he says.

As he heads into retirement this year, Dr Hawkes says schools are more important than ever in equipping young people with the requisite skills for a successful life.

“The main life coaches should be parents. However, many parents need help. This is where schools can make a contribution.

“At King’s, we have developed a life skills program that we run alongside our academic program. Our Year 10 Boys to Men Program teaches the basics of independent living. Topics include: how to cook, clean, iron, maintain a home and service a car. The course also includes lessons on interpersonal skills and financial literacy.”

King’s is consistently one of the state’s top performing non-selective schools and achieves excellent HSC results, but academic competence is just one aspect of a well-rounded education, Dr Hawkes says.

“Success isn’t measured by an ATAR; it’s measured by character.”

With the moral ambiguity found in contemporary society, knowing what is good and proper is more vital than ever, he says. “It is also important to remember that we are preparing students for jobs that don’t yet exist. The implication for educators is that a good education is not just about the acquisition of facts because they’ll probably be obsolete by the time a student gets into the workforce. We need to encourage flexibility and the growth of problem-solving skills so whatever the future brings our students can cope.”

In keeping with his belief that boys learn through activity, King’s places great emphasis on providing physical challenges, Dr Hawkes says.

“To build resilience, we require all students to engage in team sports, to spend at least two years in the Cadet Corps, to go on treks and experience the exhilaration of activities such as abseiling.”

“One of the best initiatives at King’s has been to embed a lot of essential life skills into a leadership program,” he says.

Kingsmen undertake a compulsory four-year leadership training course in Years 8, 9, 10 and 11 that encourages service and community involvement, Dr Hawkes explains.

“The course also includes training in practical skills such as goal setting, how to give a speech, how to run a meeting and how to be a great member of a team.

“Leadership is about having the courage to accept responsibility and being prepared to be accountable,” he says.

Parents can help by teaching consequences, Dr Hawkes says.

“Too many kids have privileges without responsibility. If they dent the car, they should contribute to getting it fixed.

“Kids should be given tasks at home as well as at school. They can be responsible for tidying their rooms, cooking a meal every week, sponsoring an overseas child and learning first aid,” Dr Hawkes says.

He may be leaving King’s but educating children remains his passion. His next project is another book in his “Ten” parenting series — “something along the lines of Ten Tests Your Child Must Pass”.

Focusing on the concept of initiation, Dr Hawkes will be considering rites of passage in the modern era and “what we need to do before we can describe our sons and daughters as adults”.

It will continue the theme of his most recent book, Ten Leadership Lessons You Must Teach Your Teenager, in which he offers advice on teaching kids the arts of self-mastery, working in a team, choosing wisely and finding one’s calling.

It is said that while knowledge is power, wisdom is knowing how to wield it judiciously. That, says Dr Hawkes, is the essence of good leadership. Echoing the words of Indian public intellectual Dr Shashi Tharoor, he concludes, “we don’t need minds that are well-filled, we need minds that are well-formed.”